This little ditty could be titled “How I Loathe Ya” or “How I Love Ya.” Depends on your mood. It was quite a collaborative effort and has been called either. There is a bouncy little melody that goes with this (Oh, it is SO precious). Someday, I may include audio. It’s a song about how you can call people really silly names as sort of a way to vent, but you don’t mean any real harm toward them.
How I Love/Loathe Ya
You are …
An infected monkey butt hair with sour applesauce
From the first day that I found you I wish that you’d got lost
You are…
Rancid raccoon road kill splattered on my lawn
When you’re in my nightmares I am praying for the dawn
How I love ya (x3)
You are …
A quart of curdled milk stinking up my fridge
When I get a whiff of you I jump off of the bridge
I wish …
You had a porcupine deep inside your pants
It would really hurt when you do your dance
How I love ya (x3)
You are …
A wacked out piece of poo and a dippy doodle head
If I were a bad man, I’d wish that you were dead
You’ve got …
Tapeworms in your gut and chiggers on your scalp
When you hang around, I think that I may Ralph
How I love ya (x3)
You are …
Stinky slimy sewage in a port-o-pot
You make me want to hurl a phlegm ball full of snot
You are …
A sniveling little dillweed who clearly is insane
Every time you speak you show you’ve got no brain
I don’t wish you any real harm
Only so you know you lack all of the charm
I hope you become a man instead of staying such a boy
And to call you all these names brings me real joy
How I love ya (x6)
Not much
By Paul J. Hoffman and Kimberly S. Bush
7/20/2008
