I wrote this as a response to a letter someone wrote to Gerald Kloss (the Slightly Kloss-eyed guy) of the Milwaukee Journal’s Green Sheet back in 1986 about how lousy stinking rotten all rock and roll musicians were. I think it holds up well.
Rock Musicians
We’ve got IQs of a ragweed plant
We try to reason but we just can’t
Just look at our dopey expressions
Mere manifestations of retardation
We don’t know anything ‘bout real life
I can’t even balance my checkbook right
We’re rock musicians, just lousy rock musicians.
Got brain damage from playing this stuff.
We’re rock musicians, good-for-nothing rock musicians.
Ain’t that enough?
We bang our heads against your wall
These college degrees mean nothing at all
We’ve dropped a rung on Darwin’s ladder
Just to make Mr. Berman madder
Today’s kids worse than Neanderthals
Weird gyrations to our guitar calls.
We’re rock musicians, just lousy rock musicians.
Got brain damage from playing this stuff.
We’re rock musicians, good-for-nothing rock musicians.
Ain’t that enough?
We’ve come a short way baby from the start
Inane sounds are what Billboard charts
We’re evolving into cretins today
Insulting the eyes and ears of the USA
We promote sex and drugs and suicide
Wait! I’m still living. I guess I lied.
We’re rock musicians, just lousy rock musicians.
Got brain damage from playing this stuff.
We’re rock musicians, good-for-nothing rock musicians.
Ain’t that enough?
Long live rock ‘n’ roll (x2)
We’re rock musicians, just lousy rock musicians.
Got brain damage from playing this stuff.
We’re rock musicians, good-for-nothing rock musicians.
Got hearing loss from playing this stuff (huh? what did you say?)
I said …
We’re rock musicians, just lousy rock musicians.
Got brain damage from playing this stuff.
We’re rock musicians, good-for-nothing rock musicians.
And that is all.
Long live rock ‘n’ roll!
Is there really anything more to life than rock ‘n’ roll?
Paul J. Hoffman
2/6/1986
